Sitting with your craving in addiction

Most members of the recovery community are used to dealing with addiction cravings. Just when we think we’ve overcome our struggle, or even right after we’ve got a dose of motivation to finally kick the habit, something triggers us to think of our drug(s) of choice. In the moment, it’s like all of our commitment and higher reasoning goes out the window. All we want is to partake in the habit we know is bad for us.

We’ve all heard the story of the person who was able to “white knuckle” their addiction, overcoming their cravings with willpower alone. Our confidants tell us to “just stop”. At times, we may even wonder what’s wrong with us that we can’t stop craving our doc just like all the success stories we’ve seen (“Comparison is the thief of joy”).

It’s quite common to get stuck in the habit cycle of addiction. Whether substance addictions, or process addictions, once the habit is formed it can take years to finally change your behavior. Fortunately, there’s good news: there’s a way out.

In this post we will look at one popular technique for dealing with urges as they arise so you can break free from your past — allowing yourself to sit with your craving, process your emotions, and gently tell yourself “we’re not gonna use, just for today”.

How to change your addictive habit

Typically, addicts are confronted with two options when faced with a craving: use willpower to fight the urge to use, or give in to the craving and pick up again. Consequently, when we almost inevitably go back to our addiction we think that we just don’t have the willpower it takes to quit. But this isn’t the whole story.

Many in recovery, the author included, tried and failed at using willpower to make lasting change to their story of addiction. You experience a craving, tell yourself no, fight against it, then feel terrible as you ruminate on your addiction. This may work a few times, but eventually willpower runs out. Not to mention, other aspects of our life (work, relationships, exercise, diet) also drain our willpower reserves. Relapsing into a binge is something many addicts are all too familiar with.

There is another option. I’m not saying it’s a magic pill that works with 100% efficacy. It takes some time to get used to. However, if you put it in to practice with even one of your addictions it can help you with many of your behaviors over time. It goes like this:

When you experience a craving, instead of fighting it or telling yourself “no”, just sit with the craving. Notice do different parts of your body feel. For me, most cravings make me feel tense around my waist, heart, and head. Each addiction might be different, or it might be the same. You won’t know for sure until you begin to be mindful of the craving.

As you sit with the craving, let it wash over you. Have a mantra or affirmation for the feeling. Something like “this craving is actually a good sign. My body is detoxing. I honor this process of my body, while accepting that just because I’m feeling this way doesn’t mean I have to use”.

While letting the feeling wash over you, you’ll notice that eventually it will go away. Experts say a craving usually only lasts 90 seconds to 5 minutes if you allow yourself to sit with it.

Once the feeling goes away, congratulations ! Instead of using your willpower reserves, you’re forming a new habit to mindfully acknowledge your feelings instead of pushing them down and subconsciously telling yourself they’re “bad”.

It’s recommended that when you successfully do this exercise that you reward yourself with something that’s meaningful to you so that it reinforces the habit. I like to listen to a piece of music that I like, watch a YouTube video, or eat something sweet after I’ve successfully sat with a craving. Make it something that you look forward to.

This technique works especially well for process addictions (technology, eating, gossiping, etc.) as well as addictions that occur after another phase in your routine. It “shakes things up”. Extra points if you customize the technique so that it’s unique to you and your situation (add steps, use your own personal mantra, or even incorporate environmental cues).

Falling off the wagon

I mentioned a few times that this is just one technique that you can add to your toolkit for overcoming and managing your addictions. It’s not foolproof, especially if used in isolation, but it’s quite helpful. It’s helped give me hope for my technology process use, especially.

But there are still times where we are liable to fall back into old routines. Instead of beating yourself up over this, congratulate your victories for how long you managed to stay drug free. 30 days free of your drug is 30 days your brain and body got to heal and form new wiring going forward. Do your best not to binge, but even if you do you’re still one step closer to recovery and freedom.

As you accumulate more time and more victories, it becomes easier and easier. But it never goes away. You must remain vigilant, especially around your triggers, so that you don’t fall back to those habits you want to be free from.

It will be okay. We’re learning more about overcoming addictions and living healthy lives every day. You’re safe and loved. As always, may the Force be with you. God bless.

Conclusion

There are other techniques you can add to your personalized arsenal of recovery, so feel free to look more into that now or look out here for additional posts as they come available (typically biweekly). Good luck !

If you found this article helpful, please consider signing up for the Faithworks newsletter here for exclusive content related to recovery, mental health, and spirituality. Feel free to share this content with a loved one you think could benefit from it.

May you succeed with all your goals and dreams. Until next time!