How to find a program of recovery that works for you

Introduction

Along the journey to addiction recovery, many of us find it helpful to connect with others that are going through similar struggles. There’s something special about one addict talking to another, with the goal of maintaining the recovery of the collective. Whether your vice is substance related, or process related, there is likely a group out there already working towards maintaining freedom from it. The first key is realizing that those people are part of the community you need, and the second is acclimating to the group.

In this article, we’ll first go over the mindset of those in active addiction. Next, we’ll discuss several options for recovery communities. Finally, we’ll discuss how to begin to gel with the group once you’re there.

The mindset of an active user

When we’re in active addiction, our fight-or-flight system is in overdrive. As a reminder, this is a system hardwired into our biology to protect us from danger by either running away from a perceived risk or standing our ground and fighting. In a sense, addiction hijacks this system so that we are both fighting and running at the same time. As we gradually remove one addiction after another, our fight-or-flight system has time to rest and recalibrate. But in the meantime, it can actively prevent us from seeking help from those who are equipped to collaborate with us along this journey.

When I was at the worst of my addiction, I felt like it was me against the world. No one knew how I was feeling. Why was this happening to me? Where did I go wrong? Now, after some time free from most addictions, I’ve seen many others who share(d) the same sentiment. When you have this mindset, it’s tough to reach out to others. Maybe we’ll run a google search about recovering, but going through the process along with connecting to others makes us feel forlorn.

It’s okay, you’re not alone, there are people out there who know what you’re going through and others who have studied the processes of it, all who want you to get better so you can feel connected again. We’re all on our own timeline to recovery, so don’t feel bad if you feel like you aren’t where you want to be. You’re right where you need to be.

When I was in active addiction, one thing that started to "wake me up” to the possibility of recovering was joining Facebook groups related to mental health and recovery. Other sites may have similar communities, but the ones on Facebook seemed to resonate with me the most for whatever reason. It was there that I heard stories of going to detox and eventually recovering, which is where I’m currently at. If you don’t think you can afford to go, there may be community funded detoxes in your area if you call around. That’s what was fortunate enough to happen for me. No matter what, if you just keep going along the journey you will find a solution that works for you. “When there’s a will, there’s a way.”

Different recovery programs

When first starting on the path to recovery, and even after we’ve had some experience, we can often wonder about the communities that we’re a part of. This site has a similar article about this experience at https://faithworks.beehiiv.com/p/finding-your-community-soul-tribe. While that article focuses on communities in general, the article you’re reading now is specifically about different programs of recovery (to an extent, they’re interchangeable, but it depends on the reference frame to make that distinction).

The most popular and well-known program of recovery known to me is the 12 step programs (Alcoholic Anonymous and Narcotics Anonynous being the two main ones; however, there are also 12-step faith-based programs such as Celebrate Recovery for Christianity and Millati Islami for the Muslim community). The 12 step programs has helped millions of people break free from their addictions, and continues to move through this realm. However, there are other alternatives that people have found success with as well. SMART recovery is scientific-based, for those who have a more empericist bent on our reality. Another group that I have found success in helping me maintain my sobriety is Recovery Dharma, which has online and in-person meetings and is based on the teachings of the Buddha.

If it doesn’t sound like your personal demographic is represented from the ones above, googling for your particular belief system(s) version of a recovery program is also an option.

There are also medical programs, not just group talk-programs, such as rehab/inpatient as well as outpatient options. Finally, there are peer support specialists which is a relatively new field that connects those in recovery with those still in active addiction. If you’re new to the recovery journey, ask your healthcare provider or insurance company about connecting with one. If you’ve been on the recovery journey for a while, you could even consider becoming a peer support specialist, which is currently something I would like to do.

Of course, these are mainly programs in the USA. Each country will have their own particular variations of these programs, but remember: the important thing is to put yourself out there and go into the program with an open mind.

Before I was ready to recover, I was forced to go to 12-step meetings as the consequence of a bender I went on. Even during this period, I told myself I was definitely gonna continue using when I got out. Because I didn’t want to be there. If you actually want to be there, and do the work the program prescribes, you have a much higher chance of actually breaking free of the chains of addiction than if you’re just going there because others are telling you to.

How to acclimate to a new recovery program environment

Joining a new group can be rough at first. You’ll feel like the odd person out, not knowing anyone and being in a location you’re unfamiliar with (if you choose to go to in-person meetings). Still, life’s a learning adventure so it’s part of our responsibilities while we’re here to be courageous in the face of adversity. We all slip up from time to time; putting your best effort into doing what you know is optimal for you is all that’s asked.

Some ways to alleviate anxiety around attending meetings include listening to relaxing music before the meeting, meditating or doing another mindfulness before the meeting, along with reciting positive affirmations either aloud or in your head. Remember, you’re almost assuredly safe, even if your fight-or-flight responses are going haywire. Before a meeting I have a bit of social anxiety, but after the meeting is over I almost always feel a lot better that I went than than when I skip one. When you go to a meeting, consider rewarding yourself with something healthy yet enjoyable (not with your drug of choice, of course). Perhaps some chocolate, candy, or even just a bath with candles and/or lavender.

Depending on the organization you chose, consider getting a sponsor or some other kind of mentor that can bring you under their wing and guide you through the process of acclimating to the community. Some people are fortunate with the first person they find to sponsor them, while others have to give a few different attempts at collaboration a spin before something sticks. So, if your first sponsor/mentor isn’t a good fit, don’t give up because there may have been a lesson (or a few) that had to be learned from that person before you find your long-term mentor.

Another way to build fellowship with your recovery community of choice is to begin reading their literature. Depending on how developed the organization is will determine how much literature their actually is, but every recovery institution mentioned here has some sort of literature that can help you along your journey. AA has the Big Book, NA has the basic text, SMART Recovery has handbooks, Recovery Dharma has an introduction book, and there’s also a Refuge Recovery book if you prefer that to RD.

The more effort you put in to joining the recovery community that best fits your lifestyle, the more community you will find. One day at a time.

Conclusion

Many of us experience trepidation around the idea of starting a whole new life in the recovery community. By taking things one step at a time, and making gradual efforts to join others in fellowship, you will find your whole life looks a lot different before you know it.

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Until next time!