How to heal abandonment wounds

Introduction

Collectively, many if not all of us suffer or have suffered from abandonment wounds to one extent or another. This occurs on both the societal and individual level. On the grand scale, we left the ethereal realms to experience the journey of life in this realm, causing us to feel as if the Source/Creator/God/Divine Laws abandoned us. On the individual level, we’ve experienced betrayals, losing loved ones, divorces, and a host of other experiences that may cause us to feel abandoned.

In this article, we will consider abandonment trauma from both of these perspectives, as well as how you can contribute to healing this wound from the collective consciousness (if that’s even possible). We’ll end the post by considering how to be more kind to others and ourselves considering this ailment that many of us share.

The illusion of abandonment from the Highest Realm

From Heaven, to Jannah, to Moksha, to Nirvana, Asgard, Valhalla, the Elysian Fields, or even Apothesosis/”Ubermensch” as well as many other identifying words, essentially every religion and philosophy has some sort of idea concerning higher realms of existence than where humanity currently resides. It’s a longing for home. We feel disconnected from this reality, even though its presence permeates all around us. Many bad habits, “evils”, and vices stem from the disconnection from this zone. They’re rooted in fear, and our mission is to return to Love. For whole books written on this topic, consider reading the works of Belinda J Womack. For now, just remember: you’re not alone, you are loved and appreciated (no matter how disconnected you feel), you would be missed if you weren’t here, and Love always wins.

This illusion of disconnection from our home is why our time is very special. For the first time, we can be connected all over this realm at the touch of a button. Barriers are being bridged, and honoring the traditions of our cultures while fulfilling our missions is a careful balancing act. There are birthing pains, but the illusions that once held this realm in “darkness” are being illuminated so that we can all live in Truth, Love, and respectful connection. Many people are moving all the time, and eventually we will all find our place in the grand play being performed before our eyes.

This may all seem grandiose and too macroscopic, so let’s slow down and consider some concrete individual examples on how the illusion of abandonment fear causes many root problems in people’s lives.

Abandonment wounds on the individual level

From addictions, to not adhering to the Ten Commandments, to political and socioeconomic discord, the fear of abandonment contributes to all of our problems to some extent. This is instinctual: when we were small tribe units, if we were abandoned by our fellows in the wilderness, death was almost always inevitable. We often hear that we’re social creatures. We rely on communication and connection to overcome our challenges. In the recovery community, they say the opposite of addiction isn’t abstinence, it’s connection. Many children whose parents divorced struggle in at least one area of their life because of the perceived lack of connection they experienced when they were young.

But, again, it’s not just addictions. Many “issues” we have stem from feeling disconnected from community and Love. Mental health problems are genetic and limbic wirings of our nervous system. Physical health ailments often result from not feeling connected to our bodies or loving ourselves enough to eat nutritious food, exercise, and avoid toxins. Financial woes result from a lack of mindful attention to stewarding the resources we are presented with out of fear.

I’m not saying that every problem can be boiled down to abandonment trauma. But, if we can heal our abandonment scars, then we will be a lot further along on the journey of changing this realm into what we all feel deep down it’s meant to become. So, how do we go about doing that?

How to heal abandonment trauma on the macro and individual levels

The good news is, connection is a skill that can be developed. Many addicts have successfully recovered from their usage, and have found serenity within the embrace of spiritual principles and community.

As we individually raise our vibrations away from fear, guilt, and shame towards Love, tranquility, and Onenness connection, we heal not only ourselves but the community.

“Acceptance is the first step”. Admitting you want to change and feel more connected starts with a resolution in your mind and heart. No one’s saying we have to all be paragons of socialability, but by making incremental steps towards bridging the gaps in our relationships with our fellows and with Universal Love we do our part to heal not just ourselves and our loved ones, but society in general.

Every act of kindness has rippling effects into the ethereal. We all have our part to play, so everyone’s way of being kind may seem different. It’s okay if some peoples kindness resonates with you more than others. Do your best not to judge others for the way they act, and focus on what you can do to respond in a healthier manner.

Again, start with incremental changes and they will develop into compound gains. For some of us, that means recovering from our addictions and health challenges. For others, it means moving to where our guides are calling us to. Still others need to over forgiveness and generosity to others, or perhaps even themselves. It all goes back to being kind to yourself and others.

So, how do we become kinder towards others, God, and ourselves? Let’s consider ways we can do that in the next section.

How to be kinder to others, God, and yourself

Most everyone considers themselves the hero or heroine of their own personal story. Neville Goddard even considers the entire Bible to be a story of the Hero’s Journey we all must face. Most philosophies and religions call us to be like an exemplar that exhibits amenable characteristics. So, most of us consider ourselves kind.

It’s only when we sit back and reflect that we realize that in many ways, whether knowingly or unknowingly, we are unkind to others, our Creator, and ourselves. Of course, sometimes these behaviors are products of other factors or feel “warranted”, but as the saying goes: “an eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind”.

Being kinder is similar to committing to healing abandonment trauma in general — it starts with acceptance that you’ve fallen short in some way, but want to grow. From there, you can think of ways to make amends (see how the Steps can apply to you for other areas, not just recovery?) and think of others more than yourself. Start by making an effort to treat others, the Creator, and yourself better in ways that are incremental. Say a prayer in the morning, express gratitude and forgiveness at night, and do your best to help someone every day. Take time to rest, of course, but remember that we can’t take material things with us into the beyond — but, our Love lives on forever.

Conclusion

Abandonment trauma contributes to many struggles we face in this realm, addiction and mental health included. In this article, we explored ways to start healing these wounds together and feel more connected to each other. This problem is too big for one person to solve, so I ask for forgiveness if it falls short of what you were hoping for. But it was on my heart to share about.

Thank you for reading until the end of my article. If you found this post helpful, consider signing up at faithworks.beehiiv.com/subscribe or sharing with a friend.

Good luck on your journey. You are loved and appreciated.