How to heal trauma wounds

Introduction

From the time we’re children, we begin to ingrain responses to traumatic events as a way of dealing with the harsh realities of life. At first, these trauma wounds may hardly seem noticeable. However, as we age into adulthood they can cause troublesome consequences that were originally unanticipated when we first adopted them as a learned response.

If such a description sounds familiar, know that you’re not alone. We all pass down these trauma wounds from one generation to another, until someone comes along willing to break these generational trauma cycles. Thankfully, with the help of the internet and the proliferation of therapeutic services, many in our time are answering the call of healing the collective psyche. If you’re interested in self-help, therapy, recovery, mental health, and/or spirituality, you will likely find this post interesting. Please note that this blog is not to be interpreted as an avenue of clinically licensed therapy.

In this post, we will explore some common coping mechanisms, how to identify your own trauma responses, advice for healing trauma wounds once they’ve been identified, along with some inspiration for you along the way.

As always, good luck on your journey, and thanks for being a member of the faithworks recovery community.

Development of Coping Mechanisms

Responding to trauma as a child can start quite innocuously. Maybe our parents would yell at us so we stopped talking as often, put our heads down and focused on our studies. Maybe a classmate was mean to us about the way we dressed, so we toned down our flair in order to fit in. These are ways that our younger selves decided to solve the problems presented to us. However, as we step into the fullness of adulthood, we begin to realize that the coping mechanisms that used to keep us protected are now the same behaviors that are holding us back from reaching our full potential.

Essentially, coping mechanisms start with some sort of cue or environmental trigger that we find troublesome or distressing. In order to avoid feeling the pain of the trigger, we adopt certain responses that are best suited for avoiding the negative experience. As we age, these responses become part of our subconscious. It’s only upon some serious self reflection that we realize that these behaviors are holding us back.

Common coping mechanisms to address our traumas include:

• Substance and process addictions

• Speaking either too often or too infrequently

• Refraining from going outside/being a “home body”

• Finding ways to confirm to oneself we aren’t good/worthy enough (which is absolutely not the case)

• Focus the majority of one’s attention on a single pursuit, instead of having a healthy balance between different areas of one’s life

• Consuming food, beverages, and media we know isn’t good for our mental and physical wellbeing

• Lack of exercise

• Lack of social interaction

Ultimately, these are all ways of protecting ourself from our environment along with the judgment and/or criticism of others. These responses may have served us when we were young, but as we get older they cause more and more problems when left unaddressed.

Once we’re familiar with our own personal trauma responses, they become much less challening to resolve. However, this can only occur after introspection and reflection, which can be a challenge to undertake in our busy 21st century lives. In the following section, we’ll consider several methods for identifying our own personal trauma responses.

Identifying trauma responses

Many of us in the mental health community have experienced feelings of restlessness, unease, disquiet, or general unhappiness. Sometimes, it can be tough to put our finger on just what it is that is causing our discomfort. If left unchecked, this numbness can escalate into episodes of noticeable suffering. Addressing the symptoms that arise may provide relief for a time, but we’ll always feel disheveled at some level until we address the root cause(s) of our problems.

The remedy for this is meditative reflection on our circumstances. Carving out time each day for peace and quiet can do wonders for our psyche. If you live a hectic life, start this new practice by aiming for just five minutes of uninterrupted meditation.

During these windows, begin to consider what aspects of your circumstances are causing you to be dissatisfied. Once you’ve identified a major barrier, ask yourself “why” it’s causing you discomfort. Continue asking yourself “why” until you’ve unearthed the root reason behind this occurrence. Many in the mental health and self-help communities suggest asking “why” a total of seven times before being satisfied that you’ve found the root of the issue.

Do this exercise for each area of your life that is causing you problems. They don’t all have to be done at the same time. You can do one a day for six days in a row, followed by a day of rest. Be sure to write your realizations down somewhere so you can more readily consider these same issues again later down the line.

A word of caution: some of these introspections could cause their own form of distress. You may remember painful memories you’ve done your best to forget about. You’ll likely experience many of the same feelings you used to experience, which can be painful. The silver lining is that you will have much more experience and wisdom to confront the traumas of your past head-on. Remember to be kind to yourself and others, both during this process and in general.

Once you’ve identified your trauma responses, jot down which one you’d like to address first and foremost. It doesn’t necessarily have to be the one that is causing you the most problems. Sometimes, a simple win or insight can give you momentum, energy, clarity, and hope to tackle the giant you’re facing. Remember, this isn’t an exercise you have to limit yourself to doing once. You can reflect on what’s holding you back, make the changes that resonate with you, then revisit this method once you feel more confident in your ability to change. But, once you’ve already identified the issues you’d like to change, how do you actually go about healing them? That’s what we’ll explore in the next section.

Healing trauma wounds once they’re identified

Simply by observing past pain once we’re in a different place can cause a dose of healing. It’s like a breath of fresh air, the start to a new lease on life. However, there’s more that can be done if you genuinely want to address the root causes of your suffering. Of course, I’m still living and breathing too. So my understanding of how to heal these issues is also in development. It’s a lifelong journey. However, I’ve done a lot of trauma work over the past few years and even made a list of traumas I’d like to still work on in honor of this post. So, let’s use two examples from my current list and how I plan to heal them, then identify the underlying principles of the assessment.

The first trauma point I identified was my dislike of loud noises, and how I accommodate for that by “hiding” from my community. This stems, in part, from how I was disciplined when I was young. I love those who helped raise me, and I want to honor their intentions. I’m sure they didn’t intend for me to disassociate from society. So, in order to help better heal that, I am thinking of ways I can go out into my community more. I currently volunteer at detox, am being onboarded for a new teaching job, and have been communicating with friends and family more. Steady progress in the right direction in this area has given me the confidence to help others with this blog.

The second trauma point I’d like to mention is using “cheap dopamine” to numb myself to the pains of life. These days, that primarily includes nicotine, caffeine, and doomscrolling with technology. I do these things out of habit now, but started doing them because there are things about my life I don’t like thinking about. In reality, the things I disliked weren’t permanent nor were they necessarily that bad. I just formed a judgement about them and let that lead to dissatisfaction. Learning to be more content with my present circumstances, and not having to know everything about what life has in store or the ultimate reality of the afterlife are ways I can empower myself to finally give up these last few addictions.

The process

Now, let’s look at how you can apply this to your own traumas. First, pick one of the trauma wounds you identified from the previous section. Describe what you do, and why it is that you do it. What were you trying to accomplish when you first made it a habit? Finally, brainstorm healthier ways you can manage those emotions and thoughts in the future. Start with one or two habits you can start changing so that you can heal yourself one day at a time.

Conclusion

The process of healing from trauma wounds is a lifelong journey. On the road to personal growth and finding your own source of serenity, you’ve likely already started to heal the scars of your past in one way or another. With the tools and tips in this article, hopefully you have new processes by which you can continue to heal and overcome your challenges along your travels within this realm.

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As always, may the force be with you, and good luck in your endeavors!

P.S. My apologies this post was slightly later than my recent posts. Still getting habituated to creating these. Thanks for reading this post.